I just popped away from my desk for a second to go get some cereal from the deli across the street. I mainly went because i'm hungry but i also wanted to find out what movie is filming out there. I saw the familar trailers, vans, and craft services setup when i was on my way in and i felt a slight twinge of longing...
So i get to the deli and as i was paying for my Honey Nut Cheerios, i casually asked the check out girl, "So what are they filming out there?".
"oh just some George Clooney movie," she says.
Oh my way out, I lingered for a few beats to take in the all-too-familiar scene: A production asssitant keeping all non-essential people away from the area where the next scene is to take place; a camera assistant gingerly checking his apparatus, two grips setting up some light poles, another PA on "fire watch", i.e. guarding the equipment while daydreaming about what they will get from the craft services truck for lunch.
The slight twinge in my gut flares into full-blown regret and sadness. I quickly walk away lest i be mistaken for some celebrity gawker. None of them would know that filmmaking was my life for almost two years.
I produced a short film called The Apologist and even got to see it premiere at the Raindance Film Festival. I've also worked on other feature films , television show pilots, and viral ad campaigns. It's noteworthy to me that I've always thought of myself as more of a performer: singing, dancing or acting. But when i was watching the goings-on outside my office building, i imagined myself as part of the crew and not in front of the camera. Definitely a significant change for me.
I can't even begin to describe what an exciting time in my life that was...as with most things in life, i appreciate it so much more after its over. Just the constant hustle and bustle, being out at night alot networking and meeting people. Creative juices flowing non-stop. Brainstorming with like-minded folk. Never knowing where you're going to be from day-to-day. Being a part of a real community that exists online and off. Struggling to keep the bills paid while hoping to land that next great project. Its a far cry from the routine of my current daily life.
Of course I'm happy to have a steady job and to have the opportunity to finally get out of debt, but knowing that there's so much more out there beyond this desk/prison...all I have to say is: I'll be back one day.