The BOHO label.

i really really really really hate that shit. It's getting way overused and downright insulting. Just because you see a black person w/locs does NOT automatically mean they boho. Shit i know actual bohos that keep the weave and/or relaxer quite fresh. I mean folks make that shit sound evil or inferior in some way. Or maybe they just love to find a neat little box to put people in that they feel different from. on some holier than thou shit. yes i think that's it.

I have locs but I don't own anything knitted, nor do i wear lots of layers, nor do i wear burlap or patchwork, nor do i use black soap and black toothpaste. And i haven't been to Carol's Daughter in years. All this boho finger pointing just seems like another way for black people to separate themselves from each other. As if there's something wrong with wanting to look/be non-mainstream. As if there's something wrong with supporting small businesses and independent entrepreneurs. Yo I can't even tell you how many loc-girl vs. Dark-n-Lovely-girl verbal catfights i done seen...why? what's the point?

my hair is my business. i have my own personal reasons for loc'ing and i don't like people making the assumption that i've jumped on some imaginary burlap bandwagon.

but getting away from the boho thing for a second...i wonder how many women who relax their hair know how damaging it is to their scalp and hair follicles? i mean if you know and you still do it, that's cool. at least you're informed. i kinda see it like how smokers know what they're doing to their lungs but they still puff..personal choice. not that i'm implying that relaxing your hair is anywhere near as life-threatening as smoking but yeah...

I used to relax my hair. Back when they still had lye in that shit...i'll never forget the panic i felt when my hairline started burning...oh and don't let none get on your ears...jesus! i'd be sitting there tapping my feet, shaking and close to tears cuz i wanted to get that white shit rinsed outta my head so bad..i'd be pleading with the hair dresser and she'd just say, "you want it straight, right? Well it ain't gonna be straight if you wash it out too quick!". I knew that meant at least 5 more minutes of agony. And 1 week of scabs on the back of my head.

The Power of Oprah Winfrey

Forget that she's a billionaire. That's not important.

Forget about Stedman, her weight problems and her dogs. That's not important.

Love her or hate her, its not important.

What's important is: She's powerful. And what's even MORE important is that she uses that power for GOOD.

Let's think about this for a second: there are many many powerful people in this world but just how many of them use their powers for good? Most of them use it to further their own gains or to hurt people or to just get attention. But what does Oprah do on a consistent basis? She uses her power, her TV show, to help others. Two cases in point:

1. She did a show about a wanted sex offender who had fleed the country. Within 48 hours of that show airing, this man was found in Belize and extradited to the United States.

2. She did a show about human sex trafficking...young girls 15 and under being sold into sex slavery. At the end of the show, she implored her audience to act. She showed 3 letters she had written and was going to send to her congressman asking them to focus more on this issue and help stop it from happening here and in other countries. She asked each audience member to write 3 letters of their own and send them...that if lawmakers got thousands of letters, they would take notice. She even made it easy for anyone to find the addresses on her website. Well people listened. Congress and the White House received thousands and thousands of letters and as a result, Bush signed a bill to put money and resources towards ending this horrible practice.

Yes one can say "oh that doesn't matter because Bush/government isn't really gonna do anything about it" but that's besides the point. Every little bit helps. But look at the power that this woman weilds. And this is only the tip of the iceberg of the things she's done to help people...She is my hero. Anyone who knows me knows how highly i think of her. She makes me proud to be a black woman. I really hope i get to meet her someday

My Guy

I can safely say that i currently possess (yes i said possess gotdammit!) the most wonderful guy that ever walked the earth. There should be a Great Guy Olympics so my boo can take home the gold medal.

You don't understand. If somebody had told me a guy like this existed, i'da laughed in they face, walked away, then chuckled to myself for weeks afterwards on some 'muhfuckas be trippin'. Lemme break it down for ya:

1. He's brilliant. No really. Not just smart; not just intelligent...brilliant. Superior intellect and capacity for reasoning/logic. I don't throw that word around lightly and have only claimed that one other person in my life was "brilliant". It wasn't apparent at first but the more you talk to him (if he'll open up to you..haha) the more it becomes obvious.

2. He's romantic. Erase any images of flowers, candy, gifts or hand-kissing from your mind cuz that ain't what i mean. True romance is the little things...the fact that he is ALWAYS (read: always) thinking of what's best for me, what would make me happy..goes out of his way to make sure that i feel loved every day...he constantly puts my feelings and needs ahead of his. He listens when i talk and values my opinions. He protects me, physically and emotionally. Even when we *fight*, he's fair, compassionate and patient.

I could list 20 more but you get the gist. Its a man like this that makes me want to do anything for him...i love to cook for him and to serve him...If he gives me advice, i listen...if he asks something of me, i comply. how can i not? He gives me soooo much that I'm honored to show my appreciation.

This is the kind of relationship I've longed for my entire life. Its beyond fulfilling. It's just whole. Complete.

Like Diana Ross said 'there's not a man today who could take me away from my guy..."

The shop is almost closed.

I'm not sure how much longer it can or will remain open. As a woman about to turn 35 and in a fairly new relationship with someone who's never had children, I'm contemplating possibly having another child someday. This is as huge a decision as i've ever had to make. Do i take a chance on having a child at this point in my life with all the risks of birth defects etc? Or do i make the decision to just end it and get the dreaded *operation*? I don't know. I really don't know.

I wonder if most men appreciate the fact that they never really *have* to make these kinds decisions. They are capable of siring children well into their 70s...and many do. especially with much younger women..

For the first time in my life, i wish i was younger. Or maybe i just wish i'd met him sooner.

Prayer doesn't work.

i'm sure it has value in a meditation sense...like i'm sure you get alot out of the quiet concentration and contemplation..maybe even calling upon your inner strength. but actual prayer often requires belief that someone or something will _answer_ your prayer and make the thing you're praying for happen/come true.

that just doesn't seem to happen most of the time...i mean i don't pray and i'm sure that the things i want/hope for come to me at about the same rate of success/failure as the average person who does pray.

how many people were praying for those miners? how many people prayed for tsunami and Katrina victims?

i think prayer helps the person who's praying feel stronger, calmer and maybe more optimistic. and that's definitely a good thing in a crisis situation. But when things turn out well and someone says "our prayers were answered", i can't help but roll my eyes. Like even if i did believe in God, i'd never be so self-centered as to think that he/she actually has time/inclination to do what i ask. The universe is too vast. I'm a grain of sand on a beach, so to speak. Insignificant in the bigger picture. i mean really.

Besides that, in the realm of the universe, death is not a "tragedy". Its simply a part of existing. everything begins and ends. the beginning nor the end is any kind of anomaly. so i would then further assume that God would not see an impending human death as something to alter. Its a normal occurence. that would be like God attempting to stop a glass vase from falling off a countertop. Why? It just is what it is.

Sudoku Simps

You know who you are. You people that walk around carrying Sudoku puzzles on the train like you some puzzle genius.

Please. the fact that its become such a 'craze' should clue you in on what a lowest-common-denominator type of puzzle it is (points at people who think they doing something with they Word Search books).

you wanna impress me? do some cryptograms. THEN and only then will you be really putting your underused brains to work. Or lemme see you dragging around a book of Anacrostics. or even some logic problems. fucking posers..

I spit on your Sudoku pages.

*laughs and scoffs simultaneously*