When I was a child, I used to be so super-excited about my birthday. For the entire month of June, it was all i could talk about or think about. I would tell EVERYONE that it was coming up. The night of June 30, i could barely sleep. It was my day tomorrow: me. mine. Everyone was gonna celebrate the fact that i was born and give me hugs and toothy smiles and presents. I wondered what kind of birthday cake I'd have or if someone was going to surprise me. I'd get witty cards with money taped inside that corresponded w/my age. It was better than Christmas. I'd even pull out of my drawer my special "Today is my birthday" pin and wear it all day just in case i'd missed telling anyone.
As I grew into an adult, my expectations for my birthday were forced to change. I would still be very excited about it but you slowly realize that others often are not. Or I'm often not sure of how I should try to celebrate it. Once i threw a party for myself and invited a bunch of people and only 2 or 3 showed. That was such a letdown that i never attempted that again. And i don't have the type of friends that throw surprise parties. So no more parties. You're not a child anymore so no one's got a cake waiting for you. I usually ended up buying my own cake since the kids wanted to see me blow out candles. Presents are also few and far between, unless you have a significant other.
But it's ok. I've learned to adjust. On Sunday i didn't do anything that i *really* wanted to do but it was an ok day. I relaxed, which is always good, and I did what I always do: made sure everyone else was happy and having a good time. The kids played in the park and mom sat in her favorite chair in the grass. I did get alot of calls from friends and family, which definitely makes one feel good inside. Lots of people told me they loved me (except the one i really wanted to) so i do understand that at this point in my life, it's more about celebrating life...I don't have to have the cake and parties and surprises. Next year, I may actually just decide to spend my birthday alone.