Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Thirty-Six.

When I was a child, I used to be so super-excited about my birthday. For the entire month of June, it was all i could talk about or think about. I would tell EVERYONE that it was coming up. The night of June 30, i could barely sleep. It was my day tomorrow: me. mine. Everyone was gonna celebrate the fact that i was born and give me hugs and toothy smiles and presents. I wondered what kind of birthday cake I'd have or if someone was going to surprise me. I'd get witty cards with money taped inside that corresponded w/my age. It was better than Christmas. I'd even pull out of my drawer my special "Today is my birthday" pin and wear it all day just in case i'd missed telling anyone.

As I grew into an adult, my expectations for my birthday were forced to change. I would still be very excited about it but you slowly realize that others often are not. Or I'm often not sure of how I should try to celebrate it. Once i threw a party for myself and invited a bunch of people and only 2 or 3 showed. That was such a letdown that i never attempted that again. And i don't have the type of friends that throw surprise parties. So no more parties. You're not a child anymore so no one's got a cake waiting for you. I usually ended up buying my own cake since the kids wanted to see me blow out candles. Presents are also few and far between, unless you have a significant other.

But it's ok. I've learned to adjust. On Sunday i didn't do anything that i *really* wanted to do but it was an ok day. I relaxed, which is always good, and I did what I always do: made sure everyone else was happy and having a good time. The kids played in the park and mom sat in her favorite chair in the grass. I did get alot of calls from friends and family, which definitely makes one feel good inside. Lots of people told me they loved me (except the one i really wanted to) so i do understand that at this point in my life, it's more about celebrating life...I don't have to have the cake and parties and surprises. Next year, I may actually just decide to spend my birthday alone.

3 comments:

Piscean Princess said...

I have a good friend whose b-day is the day before yours. (Actually, several of my closest friends have birthdays in that same week! I think it's an epidemic.)

For the last 2 years she has had these ideas of how she wanted to do something for herself instead of being David's mom or instead of waiting for her most recent "Person of Interest" to make good on some birthday promise. Each year she goes on line and finds some fabulous spa getaway in Sedona or somewhere awesome.

Well, much to my delight (and hers, turns out) this year, she actually did it! She dropped David off at Grandma's and hopped a plane to Vegas all by herself & had a blast. Spa treatments, concerts, shows, sleeping in, whatever her little heart desired.

So I tell her success story to provide encouragement, motivation, or whatever...if that's how you want to spend your day, I think you just oughta do it! It's still your day whether there's a party or a cake or brightly colored gifts & I think it should go down the way you want it to.

Damali said...

you have no idea at all how much i wish i could hug you right now...i can't even type anything else

Damali said...

now that i'm more composed (and not as emotional) i can reply properly...

what your friend did is amazing and i'm sort of doing the same thing at the end of the summer, although the timing isn't birthday-related. it's more 'three-day weekend' related. but yes, that is a great idea for my birthday next year. thanks!