Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Another Bittersweet Mother's Day

If it weren't for me being a mother, i'd hate Mother's Day. Although i do love my mother, she's never been much of a mother to me at all. There was no guidance when i was young. From as far back as i can remember, she lived her life and i lived mine. I have no memories of help with homework, no shared life lessons or advice about anything... in fact, i've definitely done more to counsel, help and protect her than she ever has for me. Even to this day, she is not someone i can ever go to for advice.

I will give her credit for one thing tho: When i had my sons, she did surprise me by coming to stay with me for a week each time to help out...clean, cook, watch the baby while i sleep, etc. She definitely adores her grandchildren and has been helpful as far as when i need a babysitter, etc. And anytime that i've ever moved, she has come to help pack. I definitely appreciate all those things...i guess she's been more like a sister than a mother. But hey not all women take to motherhood in the same way. I can even say that i'm a better parent from having learned from her mistakes...

But anyway, my relationship with her is a constant struggle...for so many more reasons than i'm willing to list here. Other years, i've gone out of my way to get her a gift or a card for Mother's Day. I'm just not feeling it this time. I'm not angry with her at the moment but i just can't forget all the bad stuff from the past (and not-so-distant present)....

But I am looking forward to the wonderful crafts and cards the boys will make for me in school. Here's hoping they never discover Hallmark.


Piscean Princess said...

I stopped by here yesterday evening & got caught up on what you're into this week. I must say that as much as I wanted to respond to your Mother's Day post, I felt like doing so would be a violation of your private "stuff".

I struggled with it all night and decided on this -

Have a Happy, Peaceful, Reflective and Forgiving Mother's Day.

Damali said...

nah its never like that. Hell if it were that "private", i certainly wouldn't be writing it in public. So please always feel free to respond with whatever thoughts or feelings you have. I know some bloggers turn off comments for posts they don't want responses to but i doubt you'd ever see that from me.

and thank you for those kind words.