i don't write because i'm afraid to be wrong. well not wrong, but at the very least, incoherent. or unorganized. unstructured. i erroneously perceive my own free writing as something that needs editing. or pre-planning. or fuck it, even paragraphs. and i'm sure that this stifles my creativity...this need to write right. to have every utterance be brilliant and profound. it can't be like that most of the time...i gotta accept that. to creatively censor ourselves is tragic...to self-edit is nihilistic.
i think of myself sometimes as an artist but am i really? what i have done for art lately? is this blog art? i've produced nothing as of late that's worth holding up to ridicule or praise. i'm empty-handed...nothing up my sleeves either. i may try to shake myself later. we'll see.
and yeah i'm supposed to be working on my hiphop presentation for class that's due soon but i'm so unmotivated because i no longer have anyone in my life knowledgeable enough to bounce ideas off of. sucks but i'll live. and throw something together. (wow i just dozed off with my fingers perched on the keyboard midsentence)